Anxiety

Recently, I’ve been suffering from severe bouts of anxiety.  It hits me when I least expect it and can happen at any time, night or day.  The last attack occurred last night, and despite the medication I take which normally leaves me very drowsy, I couldn’t sleep at all.  When I felt calmer I put together this short poem expressing the reality of anxiety and its corrosive nature:

Anxiety

 It comes from nowhere,

Hurtling towards me like an out of control train.

Body shudders as wave after wave of anxiety crash into me.

A tsunami of cruel and unwanted thoughts invades my mind.

Mocking me.

Irrational, but oh so vivid, they refuse to go.

Head swimming.

Corrosive fear eats into my psyche.

Muscles tighten.

Beads of sweat distil on my forehead.

Breathing laboured.

Heart thumping, threatening to burst through my rib-cage.

Nausea rising

I want to vomit.

Nerve synapses firing.

Unwanted adrenaline courses through my veins.

Fight or flight.

I cannot stand still.

I must escape.

But to where?

Wherever I go it follows me.

Like a malicious shadow.

Vindictive and pitiless.

It is part of me.

Anxiety.

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2 thoughts on “Anxiety

  1. Thanks very much for this, Scott – very vivid and familiar. Inspired by you, I dared to tell someone recently about my mood change struggles and in response she told me about her depression – a terrible onslaught of honesty may be raging through Northern Ireland…!

  2. Thanks again for your feedback Tanya. It’s so important that people feel able to talk openly and honestly about these issues. The worst thing that can happen is that people suffer in silence and feel that they are completely alone, or in some way ‘unusual’. Take care, Scott

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